Kate O’Beirne to Feminism: Fuck You!
Not everyone in the world can be a Cary Grant or a Carey Elwis — a Jim Carrey? No, this finely tuned machine man invented and named Civilization takes gears of grit and wear as well. It takes men who...
View ArticleWinning Gold Fucking Medals
I love a good showboater. For those of you who don’t understand the term, showboating is a manly activity that involves behaving poorly during a victory — sometimes extremely poorly. Hell most of...
View ArticleThree Times the Lady, Once Times the Whore
Myself and every other man on Earth have been saying it for years: alimony is fucked — and it’s extremely sexist. But wait, what about this? Did you know you’re liable for child support if you knock...
View ArticleWomen are a Drag, Man. Drag Man?
Tootsie was a pretty good movie. So was Mrs. Doubtfire and Ladybugs. What did these movies have in common? Men in drag. I’ve seen women in drag before and they would not make a good movie. You can...
View ArticleThe Heart of Darkness Should Have Been Called Golden Girls
This is going to be one of my most controversial articles to date. I say that because I don’t even agree with it. In fact I’m disgusted by it; but that’s the burden of being a man. Even if you don’t...
View ArticleBritney Spears: Not Just Jailbat Anymore (Apparently)
I’ve always wanted to name a phony whore MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Little did I know today would be my lucky day! I guess I should have read my horoscope, but I’m not a...
View ArticleWomen Hate Boobs
Women hate everything and anything that’s great in the world. Drinking? Women hate the fuck out of that. That’s why they invented bullshit campaigns about drinking and driving. Where’s the MADD...
View ArticleDick’s Week of Honorary Men: Part 1
The MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for August in the year of 2006 is a site visitor by the name of Jenny who knows better than to be on this site in the first place and also sent...
View ArticleYoga Is For Sluts
In my second installment of Dick’s Week of Honorary Men, I would like to honor Kristina Kireeva. As you can tell by her first name, she’s a woman, and that makes her the MenAreBetterThanWomen.com...
View ArticleUse It Or Lose It — No Women In College
It has long been said that university is wasted on women. Grade school is wasted on them as well because women don’t need adding or spelling to sit on the couch all day and shop for fucking chicken ten...
View ArticleThe Greatest Mother in America
Since when did women know how to take a stand? They must be putting Man Juice in the water of Scottsdale, Arizona because a local woman is finally standing up for what she believes in. This woman is...
View ArticleMADD Can Go And Fuck Themselves
There’s nothing I love sticking to women more than a big slab of science. Well almost nothing. It’s every man’s dream to lead everything he does with a joke about his penis. Don’t be afraid to dream....
View ArticleLife In A Cage
When I think of a man I think of several things: successful, smells great, nuclear explosions of brilliance and poignancy. When I think of a woman, I usually think of something retarded, like a mule or...
View ArticleMiss Teen USA is Functionally Retarded
At a dog show, even third place is still a good specimen of dog. It might not be the best, but it’s a damn good dog. No one’s showing up at the Westminster Kennel Club with a dead monkey on a leash....
View ArticleWhore-o-ween: Now For Kids!
If it looks like a stripper and costs like a stripper then it’s a stripper. This Halloween, woman-kind has lowered the bar of decency yet another inch in their eternal quest for gold at the Whore...
View ArticleSterilizing for Mother Earth
The reason it takes women two hours to go shoe shopping is because they anthropomorphise consumable goods. That’s what women are after all: consumable goods. It’s no surprise that they project their...
View ArticleA Case Study in Horizontal Success
There’s only one way for a woman to get ahead in this world, and that’s by fucking. The sooner a woman realizes that, the sooner she can begin the lifelong process of self-loathing and delusion that is...
View ArticleHappy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Women are the only creatures on the planet dumb enough to think their birthday is an actual holiday. Birthdays are not holidays. Just like weddings, coffee, pets, and anniversaries that don’t end in...
View ArticleMcCain and the VPILF
I’m going to tell you guys the first thing I thought when I was text messaged a picture of McCain’s new VP by a dozen fucking people at 8 in the morning. I’d fuck her. Meet the world’s first VPILF,...
View ArticleThe MABTW Tattoo
It’s rare that a man makes a mistake. I myself have never made one. However, last week I nearly did when I named Sarah Palin my Honorary Man of the Year. Clearly, the woman above deserves that title....
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